Our Invisibility

This weekend I experienced an “ah-ha” moment, it was something that many of Black people may have known but until Saturday I never connected the dots. I now have irrefutable proof that Black people are INVISIBLE to white people or worse, we are ghosts to them.

So, here’s the story, I’ve lived in my neighborhood for almost 24 years and there are about 6-7 families of every race who have been here for at least 20 years, but like most neighborhoods in Evanston it is becoming less diverse.

Saturday morning as my wife and I were headed to Menard’s (Home Depot will no longer get my business but that is another story) for materials to continue our back and front yard project. We stopped to talk to our long-time neighbors who were also working on their yards and found out that one of our awesome neighbors ordered a truckload of mulch and said don’t buy any because there was plenty to share!

Cut to later that afternoon, I walk down the street with my wheel barrel and get to the mulch pile talking to our neighbor who invited us to share, there were two other moms shoveling and filling up wheel barrels, carts and wagons, not once did they acknowledge my presence. Because they could not see me yet. Again, I didn’t come to this realization until Sunday.

On my second trip to the mulch pile, I decided to introduce myself, in hindsight I’ve seen the look hundreds of times but could never quite put my finger on what it is…it’s the look of hearing a voice that momentarily startles you and then the person becomes visible seemingly out of nowhere. It lasts only for a fraction of a second, the next word out of the person that you just became visible to is always “oh”. Also, at the same moment, you become visible there is that millisecond of fear, sometimes it dissipates, sometimes it lasts (Amy Cooper), and sometimes it becomes deep-seated (Derek Chauvin) and becomes hatred. In this case, the young moms introduced themselves and we talked about the neighborhood and all the standard topics of new neighbor interactions. Once you are visible most people become comfortable and realize you are not some aberration.

A little later, same much pile, a guy has joined in the shoveling and carting process, I am still the only Black man. I again initiated an introduction and got that same “whoa, where did you come from” momentary look followed by, “oh, I’m ______”. He immediately went back to shoveling…

You would think that invisibility would be an awesome superpower, it’s probably 1 or 2 on the list, running neck and neck with flying. But when you are Black (wait is the that the alter ego of invisibility?) it is the worst one you can have because when you “materialize” it can scare mere mortal white people. Instant fear provokes responses that can be deadly!

Like ghosts, most people fear them, they have been taught to fear…and what color was the only “friendly” ghost?

The senseless deaths of Black people have made us more visible but as I found out this weekend to some people, we are still completely invisible.