What I went through last night watching the Chiefs game is a microcosm of exactly what I’ll be going through tonight watching the election returns. I use sports metaphors a lot, attribute it to my love of all sports and years of coaching football, however, I try to refrain when talking about politics, especially this election cycle. Today I will.
The Kansas City Chiefs (Kamala) are the only undefeated team in the league (race), playing the Tampa Bay Bucs, a .500 team (trump 1-1). On paper the game shouldn’t have been close, the Chiefs were favored by 9. Tampa has suffered injuries to both their top receivers (lack of top republican support). Their defense, one of the best last year (republican platform the border, inflation, the economy) is now ranked 30th in the league (no longer as important to voters). The game was tight, Tampa (trump) took the lead in the 3rd Quarter. Momentum swung to Tampa’s (trumps) side after a Kelce fumble (Wisconsin) but that was okay because we have Taylor Swift on our side. Mahomes was sacked four times, the most this season (maybe Nevada or Arizona). Tampa (trump) drove down the field and scored a touchdown to tie the game with no time left in the 4th Quarter (polls closed with no winner). During the entire game, as I do for every Chiefs game, sitting on the edge of my recliner yelling and swearing at the TV, mostly at my teams play (talking to Charlemagne the god), also at the Refs (mainstream media) for bullshit calls and poor officiating of something so important (consequential). In overtime, the visiting team gets to call the coin flip to determine who gets the ball first. Tampa (trump) called tails, you know, because tails never fails. It was heads! I knew then that Kansas City (Kamala) was going to win, we’ve seen this movie too many times to doubt.
This season the Chiefs games have all been ridiculously close (the race) against teams that they should have easily beat apart from maybe Baltimore who might be the best all around team in the league, I thought they could lose (Biden v. trump II). Oh, Yee of little faith, I missed the audible to a trick play (Kamala) and like many sports fans do I was yelling no! until the ball was in the air, and I realized the man (woman) was wide open all the time.
In last night’s game, the ground game was impressive for KC (5 million door knocks in Pennsylvania) led by Kareem Hunt. OMG, they have the same initials, so let’s call it manifest destiny. Mahomes completed a pass to the newly acquired (building a coalition of stars)D’Andre Hopkins inside the 5-yard line then Kareem rushed across the goal line to secure the win (maybe Saturday this time?). The Chiefs won by 6 (Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Michigan, Georgia, North Carolina, Nevada).
So tonight, I’ll be perched on the edge again, nauseously optimistic, knowing my team should win. Is it the best team in the league? Maybe not right now, according to the polls (but polls are for strippers) against an opponent who leads the Country (league) in unforced errors, fumbles, and interceptions. Against a team who might have had a chance if they had chosen any other QB, one that would run the plays they call (project 2025), who understands there is no “I” in team, and even before he loses is saying the game is rigged, the league is corrupt, and the refs were all working for her (the Chiefs). I know I mixed a lot of metaphors at the end but forgive me I’m running on fumes at this point.
At the end of the day Kamala Harris (Kansas City Chiefs) will still be undefeated!
