Fox News — that bastion of integrity and unbiased journalism (insert deep eye roll) — asked Pam Bondi back in February if the DOJ would release the “Jeffrey Epstein client list.” Her response?
“It’s sitting on my desk right now to review. That’s been a directive by President Trump. I’m reviewing that.”
Fast forward to now and suddenly, poof — there is no list.
“Ain’t no list, never was a list. What island? Who’s Jeffrey Epstein?” They’re trying to Jedi mind trick the entire country.
Maybe the reason the list disappeared is because your favorite orange savior’s name is on it — not Clinton or Obama like y’all were praying for. Just asking questions.
Meanwhile, Texas is underwater. And while I send my heartfelt sympathy to those who’ve lost everything — or lost loved ones — we still have to talk about why it’s this bad.
This administration slashed funding for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) — the very people who help predict and prepare for floods. Texas legislators voted against extra funding for flash flood warning systems. And Ted Cruz?
He was on vacation in Greece. Literally. And didn’t even come back when the flooding started.
Same Ted Cruz who disappears every time disaster hits. Same GOP leaders who keep trying to sell you the lie that FEMA is the problem and that governors should handle disasters on their own.
“If the governors in those states can’t handle it, they shouldn’t be in office.”
So… will he be tossing paper towel rolls at Texans on Friday?
Oh wait — that level of clownery was reserved for Puerto Rico.
Maybe because they were a little too brown for his comfort.
Now, for the real bullshit.
Mainstream media? Bought and sold. At this point they might as well run their stories past the White House before airtime. Today’s dominant headline? Tariffs.
Classic misdirection. Sleight of hand.
While they wave one hand to distract you with trade wars, the other one is hiding client lists, gutting disaster response, and rewriting reality.
So, while you’re glued to headlines about tariffs and trade, remember — that’s the sleight of hand. The magic trick. The real stories? They’re disappearing before your eyes. The list? Vanished. The floods? Blamed on local leadership. The truth? Buried deeper than Epstein.
And Ted Cruz? Still drying off from Greece.
Meanwhile, y’all out here defending a man who slashed disaster funding, botched a pandemic, threw paper towels at brown people, and now wants you to believe the list never existed.
Back when he was closer to sane, Kanye said it best during Katrina: “George Bush doesn’t care about Black people.”
Let me update that for you: Trump don’t give a fuck about none of y’all.
Not Texans.
Not flood victims.
Not Epstein’s survivors.
Not the truth.
Stay woke. Or stay played.
