First thanks to everyone for all the birthday wishes! Birthdays always make me reflective and maybe even pensive about where I am, what I want to do and probably more importantly where I’ve been since my last birthday. To all the people who read this, it’s long but important to me, I appreciate that you did! Overall, this has been a good year filled will personal growth, new experiences, big gains and losses and new insights into who I am. I started the year 37 pounds heavier than I am today! I am lighter faster and stronger than I’ve been in years and my energy levels are insane, I look forward to running and start to stress when I don’t get to go to the gym. I’m eating smarter!
On the other side of 50 I have mellowed and the things that use to make me bat shit are viewed as minor in the grand scheme of things because I’ve realized that I have more days behind me than I do ahead (not dying or anything that I know but just in case, cue up – Sometimes it Snows in April by Prince to be played at my funeral) but that reality keeps me grounded in the fact that stressing over things I cannot directly influence or control (like stupid people) is really a waste of my time and energy. This does not mean I’m not passionate about the BIG things, the shooting and killing of our young black men still has me searching for a solution, my opinion remains that until Black men as a whole decide to fix this problem it will go on forever…
Relationships are more important to me than ever, my belief that people come into your life for a reason and it is my job to make sure I am open to why they are there and appreciate their presence. Conversely, those who leave although they may have had a significant influence, or a minor impact may still be important and I need to know what that is. As my circle of true friends becomes smaller and tighter, to those of you in it, thanks for being there and I love you dearly. For the people who include me in their circle, thanks for having me and know that this next year I strive to be a better friend. For those of you that have gotten this far and yes, I know who you are, keep reading because there is stuff in here for you. For those who are bored and/or have lost interest (right here is where I’d stop if someone, I really didn’t care about was writing this) that’s ok, I won’t hold it against you!
Hey did I mention some of the things that I am most proud of? First and foremost, my boys Marcus and Max, who have followed the path I tried to lay out for them to manhood and truly believe that they are becoming the best thing I ever created! I know that this is over the course of several years but over the last year it is so evident I think it’s worth mentioning here. I talked about the running stuff already, but I am very proud of the fact they I participated and completed my first 5k in the Marty Leoni Fun Run last month. One more thing, I am proud of the fact that I don’t go H.A.M. anymore even though I’ve been tested especially at work.
Back to people, everybody new can stay if you handle the rollercoaster, ya’ll that have been around a while, remember the old me? The one who was a bit overconfident and maybe a
little arrogant and even possibly brutally honest…well that guy is coming back! Because I really liked that guy, I wasn’t joking when I said I’ve got my swagger back. The honest truth is I also need that dude, he got into my forties and then left me hanging for a while…
So finally, Happy Birthday to me! As I said this past year has been pretty good, the next year will present new challenges (some I know about, some I don’t) some opportunities that if I lose focus I’ll miss, way more growth because I’m in charge of improving me.
If you didn’t get me a gift that’s ok, because if you got to the end you just did!
Tracey
